Choose the answers below that best suit you. You can make multiple selections for a single question. If you really can't find an answer that suits you, simply don't select any.
  • 1. What parts of the Lord of the Rings books did you skip?:
    • What, skip? Don't be stupid.
    • The battle scenes.
    • The songs.
    • I haven't read it yet.
    • I haven't read it, and don't intend to. Ever.
    • I would have skipped the "epic" scenery in the movie, if I could have.
  • 2. Which of these are well suited to holding together makeshift constructions made of boxes?:
    • Glue.
    • Duct tape.
    • Chewing gum.
    • More boxes.
    • Whatever's within reach, really.
    • Subliminal mental messages.
  • 3. Which of the little piggies behaved in a sensible manner?:
    • The one that went to market.
    • The one that stayed home.
    • The one that had roast beef.
    • The one that had none.
    • The one that cried "wee, wee, wee, wee" all the way home.
    • Er, what?
  • 4. With what accessories do you embellish yourself?:
    • Sensible hats.
    • Silly hats.
    • Things made of metal.
    • Things made of beads.
    • Scarves and gloves.
    • Things that go in my hair.
  • 5. How do you dispose of your rubbish?:
    • I recycle what I can, and throw the rest away.
    • Throw it in the bin.
    • Throw it at the bin.
    • Drop it anywhere.
    • Dispose of rubbish? Hm, that's not a bad idea.
    • Feed it to my pet triffid.
  • 6. Which methods of advertising are the best?:
    • Television.
    • Print advertisements in newspapers.
    • Print advertisements in the post.
    • Pop-ups.
    • Posters and flyers.
    • Spruikers - people outside shops yelling.
  • 7. Given the opportunity, what would you drop from a sixty-six story building?:
    • A cream bun.
    • The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
    • A cat. It would land on its feet, after all.
    • A small child. Which probably wouldn't land on its feet.
    • I wouldn't drop anything. I might hit someone.
    • I wouldn't drop anything. Sixty-six stories is a long way, after all.
  • 8. What sort of mechanical contrivances are you fond of?:
    • Thingies.
    • Thingummies.
    • Whatsits.
    • Gadgets.
    • Doodahs.
    • Gizmos.
  • 9. What would you select as a window-covering for your enemies?:
    • Those horizontal blinds that always get tangled.
    • Tartan curtains.
    • Puce curtains.
    • Anything that doesn't *quite* cover the window properly.
    • Anything that doesn't open.
    • Anything that doesn't shut.
  • 10. The best sort of food comes in:
    • Goo.
    • Lumps.
    • Great big bulk-purchased boxes.
    • Restaurants.
    • Convenient meal-sized portions.
    • Plastic. Lots of plastic. With colours on it.

Poems written by Holly